TDK dictionary defines the word anger as “aggression when faced with obstacles, pain or intimidation; rage, mad, wrath”. In other words, anger is an emotional response to unmet wants, unwanted consequences or unmet expectations.
Though very few seek to solve their anger issues, in reality a lot suffer from it. Personal differences, family relations, economic situation, stress, politics and social life make up the basis of anger issues. However, the real issue is not how many problems are faced, but how much control the person has over their anger and emotions.
Anger mainly comes about as reactions to oneself, others or the world. No matter the reason, anger, like other emotions, can be understood, accepted, controled and when used correctly benefited from.
İndividuals who struggle to control their anger or express abnormal extreme anger could be diagnosed with different conditions. Though various experts have conflicting publications on the types of anger, the commonly accepted types are the following:
- Chronic Anger: Long term anger that can affect the immune system and lead to other mental conditions.
- Passive Anger: Anger that doesn’t always come in the form of common anger, hard to define.
- Overwhelmed Anger: Anger caused by the struggle to catch up with life’s demands.
- Anger from guilt and anger towards oneself.
- Judgmental Anger: Emotional anger towards others.
- Volatile Anger: Extreme anger that explodes suddenly.
When Anger isn’t expressed in a healthy way it can result in somatic symptoms. These somatic symptoms include heart palpitation, high blood pressure, shaking of hand and feet, heavy breathing or difficulty to breathe, chest tightness, stomach ache and nausea. These somatic symptoms are the physical effects of anger on the body. As one struggles to control their anger, physical reactions may increase.
Though anger seems like a negative emotion, it is natural to respond with anger in some situations. However, here we focus on how we express anger. Expressing anger at the right time and place can prevent anger explosions. Anger that isn’t expressed, when mixed with feeling offended, heartbroken, unvalued or invisible, can result in aggression.
As a result, here the question we need to ask is; how do I express anger? Expressing anger in a healthy way is important for personal wellbeing and balance in relationships. Here are some recommendations on how to express anger correctly:
- Notice your anger: when you feel angry, accept your emotions and try to understand its cause.
- Identify your emotions: your anger could be a result of a different emotion (heartbreak, fear).
- Have good timing: Instead of expressing anger right away, wait until you calm down.
- Use “I”: Avoid confrontational phrases and use “I”. (For example: I feel bad when this happens). This avoids judgment and prevents the other person from getting defensive.
- Use physical relaxation techniques: Take deep breaths, control your anger with physical activities such as walking. This will help you express your emotions in a healthier way.
- Show empathy: while expressing your anger, try to understand the person in front of you.
- Put boundaries: Boundaries protect us and others; it also helps express anger in a healthier way.
With these tips, it will now be easier to express your anger clearly without hurting anyone. Expressing anger in a healthy way not only provides emotional balance but also fosters mutual respect and understanding.
Written by Sümeyra Torun (Trans. by Sevgi Emma Sarr)
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